A girl's best friend?

Last I checked it was completely the responsibility of the guy giving the ring to decide which one to buy. So why is it that women are demanding larger stones on their rings? Wouldn't you be happy just to get an engagement ring?

Visit to the Doctor

I decided to visit the doctor yesterday because I was having dizzy spells while sitting down, driving, standing, sleeping, etc. and once again I am the victim of allergies putting pressure on my left ear drum. The result? $15 co-pay and $60 for Allegra and Flonase. Does anyone see a problem with this?

Today's Dilbert

Remember this next time you ask me for computer help.

Human Hibernation?

If scientists are correct, then schedule me for a nice long winter's nap right after I get myself cloned.

Rants and Raves

There are times when I get upset at people for seemingly trivial things. Today is one of those days. You see, I hate it when people pass the buck. I hate getting a call from someone asking me to take care of something that they could handle very easily. A real-life example happened today. I got a call yesterday letting me know a friend was flying into town. He arrives tonight at 8:30ish. Now, this friend doesn't call me. Instead, he calls another guy who doesn't have a car and has very little common sense. Instead of taking care of the issue himself, he calls me and asks me for help. Now, when did being a Christian mean I need help making a simple decision? I thought this mindset changed a couple of years ago? So I said I can't help anymore than asking the guys who meet together on Tuesday nights (which I forgot to ask). Today, I get a call from another guy asking me the same question. Now, I'm really ticked because this is truly passing the buck. I'm not going to call him back because he needs to get off of his fat, lazy bum, gather the kids and go to the airport to pick up our friend. I have things I have to do tonight that I can't skip just to go to the airport (now, if I had been called first, I would have advised a different flight time/day because I know we are busy on Wednesday nights!).

Add to everything above, my eyes are bloodshot. If you saw me you'd think I was out drinking last night (which I wasn't). That's how bad my allergies are right now.

A word of advice to you. If you want to talk to me tonight, better make sure you are ready to get yelled at.

Weekend Update

There was a lot going on this past weekend. Here's a brief recap:
I helped Pete & Mia get their new house ready to live in. I spent a good part of Saturday cutting trees and wood, hanging new posts on the front porch, toting equipment and running to the store. The rest of Saturday was spent doing laundry, hanging with my brother in front of the Yankee game (Tom Gordon needs to be traded like yesterday) and preparing for my first Lord's Supper for the church.
Yesterday, went to church, took a nap, listened to the Yankees lose again (now Joe Torre may need to be fired) and had dinner with the family. Overall, I'm tired and I probably wont get a whole lot of rest until the end of the month because next week I will be volunteering with the Cancer Society dinner/fundraiser my Mother is planning. It is definitely for a good cause because both of my grandparents are cancer survivors.

The good news in all of this? There are only six months of shopping days before my birthday. Shop early, shop often, give early, give often.

Midly Upsetting Fortune Cookie Messages

BY SLOAN SCHANG
- - - -
"Your car is unreliable and poorly maintained."
"Your friends secretly agree that your head is too small for your body."
"The man you've just hired to paint your house is an alcoholic. His work will be mediocre at best."
"Your roommate is stealing from you."
"The pants you've recently purchased are unfashionably short."
"You frequently mispronounce 'Antarctic,' and 'volumptuous' is not a real word."

New Drive-Thru Teller Machines

A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using these facilities are requested to use the procedures outlined below when gaining access to their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."

MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

FEMALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
23. Give appropriate hand signal to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.

Courtesy of Carla

Die Spammer Die!

With Microsoft and it's seemingly unlimitless legal resources fighting for Hotmail users, I can envision a day in the near future where spam will be eliminated. Why? If Hotmail guarantees spam-free e-mail to you, wouldn't you use their service, even if it meant giving up a little bit of inbox size? I would. And simple economics teaches that product diversification is more important than price, which would force Yahoo, Google, etc. to find a way to make their service spam free, thus eliminating spam forever as the effect trickles down to all e-mail providers.

See, I did learn something in college (no comments from the peanut gallery)!

Did you see the whale?

I'm not sure what to think about this. After all, Ed is from Delaware.

Note: My opinion is the whale was able to swim the river as a result of the recent flooding in Trenton, NJ.

Happy Birthday Mr. Twinkie

For 75 years we have been enjoying those tasty treats made with yellow dye #5. I suggest we celebrate by eating a twinkie (or two).

Where Would You Rather Be?

Taking a suggestion from Jason.

Blogger is working

Looks like Blogger is working again. I had some trouble uploading posts this week. My apologies to the faithful readers (all four of you). Here's to a Yankees 3 game sweep of the Red Sox to start the season!

Weekend News

Does anyone know how I can get in touch with Dennis Miller to do this spot?

To recap my weekend you have to start with my 2nd crash of the mail server on Wednesday. The process to rebuild it took two days, so I put in a lot of hours and I was able to leave early Friday, which was good because I got fooled by Bonnie on Saturday (she said she was pregnant, which she is not. I can't believe I fell for it). Saturday was Don Hoover's 40th birthday party so I'm a little bit lighter in the pocket and all my softball muscles are complaining. But the best part of my weekend was Sunday night. Baseball has officially started and it is great to see the universe has righted itself after last year's debacle. The Yankees beat the Red Sox 9-2 and honestly, the Red Sox do not look like the defending champs. Top it off with daylight savings time starting (which means more sunlight for after work and I thrive on sunlight and warm weather) I am generally happy today.

Google Gulp

The drink that makes you less thirsty and smarter. I have to get some more. Please send me your Google Gulp caps.